Curse

SFEley · Jul 31, 2006, 04:09 PM // 16:09

GUILD WARS JERK NOTIFICATION

Hello. This is to notify you that you are a jerk because:

[Party Violations]
___ You joined a party and quit.
___ You joined a party and went away from keyboard.
___ You joined a party and did something stupid that got people killed.
___ You joined a party and did something stupid to get yourself killed, and then blamed the party.
___ You joined a party for a mission goal or bonus and then wouldn't do it.
___ You joined a party for farming with a sharing agreement and then wouldn't share.
___ You joined a party and became hostile when asked about your build/style.
___ You joined a party and lied about your build/style.
___ You joined a party and gave other people a hard time about their build/style.
___ You joined a party and refused to listen to the party leader or others who knew the mission.
___ You joined a party and were utterly unprepared for a mission you said you knew.
___ You joined a party and wouldn't stop posting idiocies in chat.
___ You joined a party just to troll or harass everyone.
___ You joined a party.

[Scam Violations]
___ You tried to scam with a "bouncing window" trick.
___ You tried to scam with a "gold not platinum" trick.
___ You tried to scam by offering an identical but worthless item to the one being traded for.
___ You tried to scam by offering a multi-part trade and bailing out.
___ You tried to scam new players by selling armor.
___ You tried to scam new players out of black or silver dye in Pre-Searing.
___ You tried to scam by lying about the rarity or usefulness of an item.
___ You tried to scam by selling bogus "secrets."
___ You tried to scam by pretending to be an ArenaNet employee.
___ You tried to scam.

[Non-Scam Trade Violations]
___ You offered trade for accounts, real money, or other forbidden goods.
___ You offered trade but wanted/offered a ridiculous price.
___ You offered trade but declined when the other party submitted what you asked for.
___ You offered trade but then submitted something else.
___ You offered trade and tried to change the agreement in mid-trade.
___ You offered trade but were abusive when asked about it.
___ You offered trade but were abusive after the trade.
___ You offered trade but didn't know what you were doing.
___ You offered trade.

[Running Violations]
___ You bought a run and didn't pay.
___ You bought a run and did things to make life difficult for the runner.
___ You bought a run and wouldn't shut up.
___ You sold a run and didn't deliver.
___ You sold a run and took too long.
___ You sold a run and ended up somewhere else.
___ You sold a run and were incompetent for the area you were running.
___ You bought/sold a run.

[Whisper Violations]
___ You whispered me with a scam or ridiculous trade offer.
___ You whispered me to guild recruit when I already have a guild.
___ You whispered me with insults or aggression.
___ You whispered me to make an indecent offer.
___ You whispered me and wouldn't shut up.
___ You whispered me and I have no idea why.
___ You whispered me.

[Spamming Violations]
___ You spammed local chat with trade offers instead of using the trade channel.
___ You spammed local chat with guild recruitment in excess of reason.
___ You spammed local chat with requests for free stuff.
___ You spammed local chat with pranks: i.e., "SomeOtherGuy is quitting GW and giving away black dye and ectos! Whisper him!"
___ You spammed local chat with insults, racial slurs, or sexual content.
___ You spammed local chat with SOME NONSENSE IN ALL CAPS THAT MADE IT HARD TO READ ANYTHING.
___ You spammed local chat with incomprehensible gibberish.
___ You spammed local chat.

['n00b' Violations]
___ You called somebody a 'n00b' because they weren't wearing your armor or equipping your skill.
___ You called somebody a 'n00b' for disagreeing with you about anything.
___ You called somebody a 'n00b' for doing things *better* than you did.
___ You called somebody a 'n00b' when they really were new and trying to learn.
___ You called somebody a 'n00b' to end any possibility of a discussion becoming interesting.
___ You called somebody a 'n00b.' Ever.

[General Violations]
___ You are a racist.
___ You are a pervert.
___ You are an idiot.
___ You are a bot.
___ You are dancing in your underwear.
___ You are illiterate but you keep typing.
___ You are shouting "LEEEEEEROY!" and charging into things under the mistaken belief that it's funny when *you* do it.
___ You are a lousy party leader.
___ You are a lousy party member.
___ You are a lousy Guild leader.
___ You are a lousy Guild member.
___ You are a lousy human being.
___ You are wasting my time.
___ You are wasting ArenaNet's disk space and electricity, and reducing our fossil fuel supplies.
___ You are wasting your existence.
___ You are not really a jerk, *I* am, and that's why I'm calling everyone else a jerk.

Because of your status as a jerk, I am going to:
___ Report you to ArenaNet.
___ Post about you on the Guild Wars Guru forums.
___ Put you on 'Ignore.'
___ Spam you or prank you incessantly.
___ Ragequit.
___ Harbor deep hatred in my soul forever.
___ Cry.
___ Do nothing and go on with my life.
___ Create a new checklist about Guild Wars jerks.

SFEley · Jul 31, 2006, 04:13 PM // 16:13

Suggestions and improvements solicited, of course... I really feel like it needs a PvP section or two as well, but I just don't know enough about that part of things to mock the jerks. If anyone wants to contribute, I'll edit in the ones I like and make sure this gets posted somewhere interesting.

Doomlord_Slayermann · Jul 31, 2006, 04:22 PM // 16:22

You are a jerk because...

[Whining Violations]
___ You whined about a new update just because it fixes the exploit you were continually exploiting yourself.
___ You whined about a popular build that is balanced but cannot be countered by your own favorite build.
___ You whined about a new update that nerfs your previously overpowered build.
___ You whined.

[PvP Violations]
___ You acted in an elitist manner.
___ You rub your victory in the other team's face.
___ You use PvE builds unsuitable for PvP in PvP.

[PvP Group Violations]
___ You do not follow your group's leader.
___ You attempt to usurp the group leader and become the leader mid-battle.
___ You chatter mindlessly on your group's TeamSpeak/Ventrilo channel so that no one else can say anything and be heard.

Because of your status as a jerk I am going to...
___ Ignore you.
___ Laugh at you.
___ Hack your computer and overclock your CPU(s) so much that it/they burn(s) straight through your motherboard.

On another note, why the general categories? Do you really consider everyone who has ever traded you, whispered you, ran you, been ran by you, or joined your party to be a jerk?

llsektorll · Jul 31, 2006, 04:35 PM // 16:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by SFEley

GUILD WARS JERK NOTIFICATION
[General Violations]
___ You are a pervert.

damn... u got me

Don Zardeone · Jul 31, 2006, 04:39 PM // 16:39

Pranks on jerks are ok but that's the limit.

Andisa Kalorn · Jul 31, 2006, 05:21 PM // 17:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by SFEley

___ You are dancing in your underwear on my female character, and you are a male warrior.

(My addition in bold)

WHY did they have to make that dance... it's really annoying when it happens to one of my guildmates who's still in primary school...

On another note, it doesn't matter now nice you try to be, someone will always think you're a jerk.

Sora · Jul 31, 2006, 05:26 PM // 17:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by SFEley

___ You called somebody a 'n00b' because they weren't wearing your armor or equipping your skill.

___ You called somebody a 'n00b' when they really were new and trying to learn.

Very ture...I often run into these kind of people.

T Lo · Jul 31, 2006, 06:21 PM // 18:21

___ You use PvE builds unsuitable for PvP in PvP.

hey, if it works, it works.
"Destroy them, my minions!"
*ctrl-space*

fiery · Jul 31, 2006, 06:36 PM // 18:36

Wow I see you put alot of work into this :X.

lagrand1 · Jul 31, 2006, 06:49 PM // 18:49

Please don't forget the A-net haters.
__ you are a jerk if you posted about how much Prophesies sucks.
__ you are a jerk if you posted about how much better Prophesies was.
__ you are a jerk if you posted about what a waste of money Factions is.
__ you are a jerk if you whined about no more player slots, and when offered, you whine about them.
__ you are a jerk if you posted you were thinking about quitting GW forever.
__ To prove you are not a jerk, stop playing/posting about how bad you think A-net/GW is...

SFEley · Jul 31, 2006, 06:52 PM // 18:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doomlord_Slayermann

On another note, why the general categories? Do you really consider everyone who has ever traded you, whispered you, ran you, been ran by you, or joined your party to be a jerk?

No, not at all. I just thought it would be funnier.

(The whole thing was intended as humor... I hope that didn't go over too many people's heads.)

lagrand1 · Jul 31, 2006, 06:57 PM // 18:57

Edit to erase double post.

should add

__you are a jerk if you double post.

Doomlord_Slayermann · Jul 31, 2006, 06:58 PM // 18:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by SFEley

No, not at all. I just thought it would be funnier.

Well, they didn't really seem humorous to me (although the rest of this is quite amusing). I would suggest just taking them off, because they don't define "jerk" actions at all.

eggs0wn · Jul 31, 2006, 07:00 PM // 19:00

[General Violations]
___ You are wasting my time.

According to your "Jerk Violation" thing which is kinda odd you would be considered a jerk.

Jetdoc · Jul 31, 2006, 07:04 PM // 19:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by SFEley

Hello. This is to notify you that you are a jerk because:

[Party Violations]
___ You joined a party for farming with a sharing agreement and then wouldn't share. (aka "and I was stupid enough to believe you")
XXX You joined a party and wouldn't stop posting idiocies in chat.
XXX You joined a party just to troll or harass everyone.

[Scam Violations]
XXX You tried to scam by pretending to be a relative ArenaNet employee. (aka "I'm Gaile Gray's illegitimate love child")

[Non-Scam Trade Violations]
XXX You offered trade but wanted/offered a ridiculous price.

[Running Violations]
XXX You sold a run and took too long.
XXX You sold a run and were incompetent for the area you were running.

[Whisper Violations]
XXX You whispered me with a ridiculous trade offer.
XXX You whispered me with insults or aggression.
XXX You whispered me to make an indecent offer.
XXX You whispered me and wouldn't shut up.
XXX You whispered me and I have no idea why.

[Spamming Violations]
XXX You spammed local chat with sexual content.
XXX You spammed local chat with incomprehensible gibberish. (aka Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine...)

[General Violations]
XXX You are a pervert.
XXX You are an idiot.
XXX You are a bot.
XXX You are dancing in your underwear.
XXX You are a lousy party leader.
XXX You are a lousy party member.
XXX You are a lousy Guild leader.
XXX You are a lousy human being.
XXX You are wasting ArenaNet's disk space and electricity, and reducing our fossil fuel supplies.
XXX You are wasting your existence.
XXX You are not really a jerk, *I* am, and that's why I'm calling everyone else a jerk.

Looks like I'm banned.

Dwiggit · Jul 31, 2006, 07:32 PM // 19:32

[PvE Violations]
___ You used /rank to show your PvE prowess and superiority.
___ You show off your 15k armor to show your PvE prowess and superiority.

lol, this thread is funny!

Dwig